Month: September 2013

The idea that the worst critic is yourself, is true.

It’s not the haters on the interwebz. It’s not your mom who thinks that having too much muscle is unfeminine and ugly. It’s not your friends who think you’re a douchebag for ditching them for the gym instead of going out to get hammered. It’s not your coach for when they reduce the weight on the bar because you’re not feeling it that day.

It’s you, the self-saboteur.

 

The Self-Talk

 

Here’s a fact: The world is a shitty place.

Here’s another fact: The world is a wonderful place to live in.

Clearly these “facts” are opinions of the self and we hear either one a lot, but perception is reality. Sometimes there’s no study or statistical data that could tell us different in a particular moment. We see ourselves in others, but we look at ourselves in the mirror every single day. What’s consistent is our age in that we get older everyday. That we can’t control.

What we control is how we feel, how we look, and how we perform.

I mentioned to a client of mine the other day that scapegoating seems to be really popular lately.

It’s never our fault, it’s always someone else.

Before that, I wrote on twitter that you are the solution to your problems. For a lot of us control freaks, it’s the best news you can get.

Yet we continue to talk ourselves down and damaging our self-confidence…or what’s left of it.

I don’t know this for a fact, but I believe that there is a lot of talent out there in the world that could change the face of sport, business or even relationships. We’ll never know because that individual kept themselves from moving forward with negative self-talk, sabotaging their greatness.

5 things that come to mind about Self-Saboteurs:

1) Self-saboteurs allow fear to guide their thoughts, plans, and actions.

2) Self-saboteurs focus on the past,

3) Self-saboteurs feel that deep down inside they don’t measure up.

4) Self-saboteurs drive people away.

5) Self-saboteurs settle.

As a trainer, I work with a diverse group of people every single day and every day is different for them. One day they’re up. One day they’re down. However, when they talk about themselves in a negative manner,

“I don’t think I”m getting any better…”

“I don’t have any confidence….”

“I can’t.”

I watch and hear my clients and others talk about themselves this way. I understand “every dog has it’s day”, but there’s something more to it when they’re being vocal to others about it.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Most of the time, what you say or think about yourself over and over, you tend to believe it and directly or indirectly cause it to be true.

Don’t think you’re going to get to reach that milestone? There’s a good chance you aren’t because you think you’re not. It’s that simple.

But being around others who think the same way don’t help. In fact, they almost always make it worse.

The expectations people have about how others will behave play a large role in determining whether people cooperate with each other or not. And moreover that very first expectation, or impression, is hard to change. “This is particularly true when the impression is a negative one,” says Michael Kurschilgen from the Max Planck Institute for Research on Collective Goods in Bonn (science daily)

Can you blame someone for not picking YOU to be on their team when you don’t have any confidence about yourself? Telling other people how much you suck isn’t going to help your outlook and others impression of you. You can only be frustrated for so long before you start pulling away from your goals and actually start believe what you say about yourself.

The fix: If you believe in yourself, you set yourself up to be successful. We all are leaders in our own right. At the very least, lead people to believe that you are strong and confident. Even if you don’t believe it yourself, others who look to you for your strength will continue to as long as you show it.  This can transfer into your training too.

If you believe you can hit that PR, someday you will. As long as you work towards it and trust the process, it’ll only be a matter of time.

Composing yourself in the face of Stress

Stress comes in many forms: financial, family, competition, training, etc.

There’s no way to avoid it. It’s in our lives every single day.

But how you handle it is the X-Factor.

I see it as two ways–either change what stresses you or change how you think/feel about it. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have no other choice.

If you go about it negatively, you’re sabotaging your health and potentially those around you. If you go about it positively, it could really change the way you look at things

I watched a TED talk the other day about how using stress to actually help yourself. The video explains.

It sounds crazy, but I thought about it and it totally makes sense. Having a positive outlook on work, your family, life, or even training can make a world of a difference in how you feel mentally and physically.

It’s always going to be dark with your head down in the dirt, if you don’t look up and try to find light at the end of the tunnel.

So you broke a nail. So what, they’ll grow back (or you can buy new ones).

You bombed out at a meet even though it should never happen. But so what, there are other meets. Learn from it and move on.

Your kid broke his leg. Sure he’s hurt, but he’s alive and safe. Be open to the fact that it may happen again. We’re human.
We may crumble under stressful circumstance, but as long as we get out of it we’re going to be okay. Looking at it as the end of your progress or a bump in the road you can’t get around is nonsense. Life moves on.

You’re either going to spend the rest of your time working towards controlling YOUR stress or you’re going to let it control you. It’s up to you.

Being the Self-Saboteur is so easy these days. People will look for the quickest way out or excuse for not being where they want to be. It’s bullshit. If your goal is to make people feel sorry for you, that’s fine. But it’ll get you nowhere to where you truly want to be.

Surround yourself around people who will help pick you up. DO things that will make you happy, make you laugh or an exercise you know you can do with ease build back up that confidence.  DON’T talk shit about yourself. DO look at the big picture. Look at what you’ve done successfully. Success leaves patterns. Follow it and make adjustments along the way.

To say be positive is kind of corny, but it’s true damn it. Take time to yourself to critique your performance and get your head back in the game. DON’T be the Self-Saboteur.

There are people counting on you.

YOU are counting on you.

-D

I’d like to start out by saying that I believe that there is a place for everything; certain exercises, foods, supplements, etc.

As a trainer, I’m all about trying to help people look better, feel better, as well as have more of positive outlook on themselves in general. There are certain things, however, that will constantly bring us down because of its inconsistent nature.
Of course I’m talking about the scale.

 
Earlier this week I decided to start reducing my carb intake in order to get my bodyweight down to be able to enter the 181# weight class. My girlfriend influenced me to document this publicly in order to show the ins n’ outs of losing weight. Not wasting anytime, I announced on my Facebook page that I will be documenting my weight for over 24 hours.

 

So at 3pm, I weighed myself on a Taylor Home scale that is located at work as well as my apartment.

 

Here’s how the experience went:

 

Monday-3pm: 192.2lbs

By this time, I had1-solo cup of my “Mojo Shake” (OJ, Oats, Banana, Frozen Strawberries, Ice, Peanut Butter, Almond Butter, Protein Powder) and close to 100oz. of water. I started work at 6am, showered, napped from 7ish-8, worked 830a-1230p, another nap, had a pound of lean beef and broccoli at work.

I was wearing biker shorts during the weigh-in, and then headed to work at 330p.

5:02p: 190.8lbs (-1.4lbs)

I’ve had 2 clients since the last weigh-in. Consumed nothing but water (with BCAAs)and then proceeded to weigh myself. I’m not at all surprised by the weight loss within the last 2 hours or so; mainly because it was hot a balls and I’ve been peeing like an old man.

I was wearing biker shorts.

7:30p: 191.8lbs (+1lbs)

Even though I haven’t been peeing as much, I certainly have become hungrier by this time. I weigh myself before I leave the gym and head home to end the work day. I am starving. This already is starting to suck.

I was wearing my work clothes (undies, shorts, socks, and shirt)

9:07p: 191.0lbs (-.8lbs)

So it’s night time aaand I can’t take it anymore. I have a super early day (again) and I have to squat big, one of my biggest squat days yet. I should also mention that it’s supposed to be in the high 90’s and humid. So I head to Fresh Market after work to pick up a regular rotisserie chicken from and 2-Youkon Potatoes. I wiped but satisfied my hunger. 

I weigh myself on the scale at home before heading to bed wearing socks, shorts and undies.

 

Tuesday-5:57a: 190.2lbs (-.8lbs)

It’s stupid early as this is the first week I will be waking up before 6am, 5-days a week. It’s a short 30-minute session after which I plan to go home and nap again (note: I like naps). I have my shake to keep the hunger pangs away. I have another half-hour appointment at 8am and plan on training afterwards.

 

7:59a: 186.2lbs(-5.8lbs)

Before arriving to work, I shower and start downing the water preparing for my training session in the hours ahead as it starts getting hotter and hotter outside. 

I weigh myself right before my appointment wearing work clothes (biker shorts, shorts, and shirt).

 

10:13a: 190.0 (+3.8lbs)

I start my workout at 9am warming up on squats (look out for my training blog at the end of the week). I knew I was going to feel like ass doing it so I was going to take my time before my next appointment at 1130am. Downing water because it’s already in the mid-90’s outside, JJ (CFBN/BNAF Owner) mentions that I’m probably going to retain water and bloat from the workout and supplements. Knowing me, not everything applies. 😉

I weigh myself wearing my workout gear (shorts, biker shorts, shirt, and socks) on the scale at work.

 

1:31p: 189.0lbs (-1lb)

I mention on my update that I forgot to weigh myself after working out and working. Seriously though, I was tired, it was hot and I just had an awesome squat session. I really didn’t give a shit about my weight at that point because I had more important things to focus on. With more water and a little food, I have one more weigh-in to go.

I weigh myself in my work clothes (shorts, biker shorts, socks, and shirt).

 

Final Weigh-in 4p: 193.0 (+4lbs)

With more work and programming to be done, I clearly forgot to weigh myself again. It’s the last one and I couldn’t care less if I didn’t see another scale for the rest of the week.

Some of you may be thinking:  wow, that fluctuation is cray, son!!

Because you know…everyone talks like that.

I ended up making 7 eggs and half a bag of hasbrowns with salsa and cheese. It. Was. Delicious.

But it made me realize how some people, including some of my clients, feel about their weight and how they go about life in dealing with it.

 

WHAT WAS IT LIKE??

It was hard. I hated having to check my watch for every 2 hours of the day. It was weird because when I weighed in past the deadline, I was kind of annoyed. I found myself thinking about it the whole time, mostly because I was interested in how it was going to turn out.

WHAT DID I EAT???

Monday I had my “Mojo Shake”, lunch (as referred to earlier in the log) and dinner. Tuesday I had more of the shake, but a bigger lunch in having tilapia and broccoli. Later that evening I made the eggs and hashbrowns I explain earlier.
To some of you folks, this may not sound too bad; Monday I had basically 2-3 meals as well as Tuesday.

 

But I’m a high level Powerlifter. I require 4-5,000 k/cals daily (more so on training days) and doing what I normally do with a calorie reduction seriously was messing me up. Tuesday and Wednesday I practiced my lifts for my competition upwards of 85-90% of my max. As you can imagine I was a bit cranky when I woke up, could barely get out of bed and longing for another nap soon.

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???

I was told that going through what my clients go through is a great way to understand where they’re coming from so I can relate to them better. I agree completely. However, it doesn’t mean that they SHOULD be weighing themselves daily.

I do understand though that some have lost 10, 15, 50, 100 or more pounds and never want to go back. Based on some research at LIVESTRONG, people are going to gain some weight on average every year.

This piece reads:
“Between the ages of 25 and 44, the annual increase in weight jumped to 3.4 percent in men and 5.2 percent in women. This means that if a man and a woman who each weigh 160 pounds both gained weight at this rate, the man would gain a little more than five pounds each year and the woman would gain a little more than eight pounds each year.”

 

What many don’t realize is that fluctuating +/- 5lbs IS NOT going to make you look any different. Sure people wear their weight differently, but the bigger picture is whether or not you feel better, are performing more efficiently, and looking better as a result. I remind you, YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO.

Everything that you do in life; how you handle stress, what you eat, how you eat, and how hard you train is all going to have an effect on your body…including your weight.

Ultimately, I went through a lot to try and lose weight in a short amount of time and I ended up gaining a whopping .8lbs. For some this would be frustrating to go through all of that, but people do this shit every day. It’s crazy and time consuming.

Again, I felt no better. I performed well but not better than I knew I could because I was tired and “under-nourished.” I also didn’t look any different. While I understand where my clients are coming from, it still makes no sense to weigh yourself every single day.

STOP IT.

There’s too much manipulation involved at the mercy of how you perform and how you feel. A gallon of water weighs 8.34lbs. If you drink that daily or more, you’re constantly gaining 8+lbs. Sure you’ll pee a lot, but don’t weigh yourself right afterwards. You’ll probably freak out.

See how silly that sounded? All you did was drink water!! Not cookies, or pies, or junk food.

Just. Water.

“Water retention can cause an increase in weight beyond what is normal and has medical, hormonal and dietary causes. Common medical causes of water retention include heart and kidney problems because there is a reduction of fluids being moved through your body. Circulation problems may also cause water retention and swelling in various extremities. Lymphedema — prevention of lymph drainage because of lymphatic system congestion — can occur after surgery or as the result of a sedentary lifestyle. Hormonal fluctuates during a woman’s menstrual cycle may lead to water retention. In addition, cortisone released during periods of extreme stress can cause your body to retain water. Finally, too much salt in your diet can cause minor water retention and weight gain because it causes your body to hold onto fluids.”-Jackie Carmichael, LIVESTRONG.COM

Fortunately, most people don’t say “well I’m on water reduction to lose weight.” In fact, when they do gain, water is one of the last places people look. Why? Because It’s just water damn it! Chill the F out!!

 

 

DEVILS ADVOCATE

Now, let’s say you want to weigh yourself. I recommend doing it once/week. Want you want to lose is body fat. The less fat you have, the better you’ll look and keep THAT weight off. Since diet is a big contributor in weight gain/loss, it’s important to keep that under control.

 

You want to aim for .75-1lb/week. This is different for everyone of course; the more you have, the more likely it is to come off quicker. The less you have to lose (regardless of what YOU think) the harder it’s going to be. The body likes to get to a certain state at some point. So when there is a plateau, you have to do something different. What that is, is going to take some time and work on your part.

My body likes being around 188-195 naturally. If I want to get under that it is going to take a lot of work to get some off and keep it off. Otherwise, I let go for even a little bit and it’s going to shoot way up like it as shown on Tuesdays log before regulating.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Weighing yourself is totally a waste of time.

You worry? You gain weight.

You get stressed?? You gain weight.

You eat more calories than you expend? You gain weight.

You drink more water than you normally do? You gain weight.

All of these things happen on a daily basis. Life happens and you have to deal. The last thing you need to do is finish or start your day by getting on the scale and making things worse. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU WEIGH.

I tell my clients all the time, no one walks down the street with a number above their heads for people to see. What we see ourselves in other people.

Yet no one else feels what you feel. No one else does what you do on a regular basis. To be judged or judge yourself on how much you weigh is so insignificant to everything else that you’ve accomplished and will accomplish. Don’t get hung up.

Be happy with yourself. Choose your path wisely. Look forward to where you want to. Don’t stop until you get there.

 

 

As I sit here writing this, I am just 4 weeks out of heading to Las Vegas for my first World Championships in Powerlifting. Forget the fact that it’s Powerlifting for a second.

 
Let’s say you’re me 4 weeks out from a huge event that you’ve been preparing for: a speech in Executive Office at work, an Olympic qualifier, on a game show to win a million bucks, your first time saying “Hi” to a girl…

You get the idea.

What you have done is what got you to this point. But hold up…now you start thinking differently. Why is that?

Wouldn’t it make sense to go into it as confident as you have been this entire time?

For quite a few of us that isn’t the case. There’s a difference in the thinking process of those who aren’t as experienced and those who are. Let’s address those for a moment.

 

The “In-Experienced”

“I can’t do this. I’m going to get demolished.”

“What if I fail?”

“What if I don’t lose the weight/body fat?”

“When will I succeed?”

These are all questions and concerns that I hear from other competitors and the clients I work with on a regular basis. I know for sure that I have had these thoughts running through my mind at various points in my Powerlifting career and otherwise. We all have.

The one thing that I find consistent is how those who have never been on their biggest stage don’t know what to expect or worse, have expectations.

The latter is the one thing that could really mess with your head. In competition, your first time out should always be to have fun and remember to follow through with what got you there in the first place.

A lot of us may suffer with what I call the “Rookie of The Year” complex. That is to try to win or be beyond amazing your first time out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good positive attitude and great approach to your sport or event, but having these high expectations might set you up for a big let down.

I try to tell my clients that you’re going to fail. A lot. Heck, if you don’t, you’re either not trying hard enough, are really lucky, or haven’t even started yet.

I’ve only have been competitively lifting for 4 years. I have multiple records, rankings and championships. You better believe that I’ve lost too. Not just on the platform, but in the weight room. I’ve been a trainer for over 6 years and some know the story, but I failed my certification exam 3 times before passing finally passing it.

Fortunately, it is ingrained in me to fight for what I believe in and have a stellar work ethic. Perhaps being introverted and finding confidence within or being around really supportive people is what helped. Maybe it’s all of it.

I know that focusing on what you CAN do and have done is a great start. Only will you get better with more experience and become mentally tougher.

 

 
“The Veterans”

For the less experience, these are the people you want to hang around. If you want to get better, work with those that have been in your shoes.

These may not be those who have gotten the best results or won a ton of awards. They’re the ones that are consistent. They’re the ones that if they fail, they’ll comeback with a vengeance rather than breaking down.

I have a client that wanted to have better health. Her name is Kim. She’s literally half the woman in size and weight that she was 3 years ago. She’s had her mouth wired shut, been through dozens of diets. It was only then did she have go to go through lap-band surgery to help her lose the weight.

She reached out to me to start exercising. She’s been told to do this over and over and over again and it wasn’t until the surgery that exercising and eating better was the only way to stay that way.

2 years later she shows me a photo of her in 2010. I see her a few times a week and I can’t believe it. It’s a lot different when you see transformations like that on TV, but when you’re involved it’s a bit surreal.

We started 30-minutes/day, twice a week. Then we got to 3 times/week. Then started to do 45 minutes and then hourly. Today, she’s gearing up for her first Powerlifting competition in October (I have no idea where she got that from; P).

It sounds great and all, but we haven’t been training consistently over the years. She’s had her body break down a couple of times. There was even one point when she was out for 3-6 months. As you can imagine she was discouraged.

When she came back, she was very hesitant about what we would do. The moment that pain would come back and she’d be out for a week or so.

But she had been down this road before. Knowing that becoming more and more inactive and being afraid to move on was going to lead her to more weight gain and bring her right back where she started.

Kim has had experience. We’ve been pretty consistent training ever since then. When ever there is an injury or an ache, we train AROUND it and work on something else that wouldn’t keep her from being out of the gym. We’re 6 weeks out from competition and she’s looking strong and staying positive.

 

That’s what mental toughness is.

 

It’s never giving up and focusing on the bigger picture ahead: That if you stop the journey, you will fail 100% of the time.

 

Can you teach it mental toughness??

Some people don’t think so. Some people think you just have it. Some people think you have to grow up being around it. But I believe it can be taught.

I’ve had the pleasure of training a young lady who coming out of Junior High was on a State Championship winning volleyball team. She didn’t start, but has wanted to continue playing on her high school volleyball team the following year.

With 60+ athletes trying out for the squad every year, your chances of making the team isn’t a walk in the park.

She wasn’t the best jumper when we started, wasn’t the strongest or most coordinated. It was going to be a long summer.

I explained to her mom that while she’s training for this, she’s going to have to accept the fact that she may not make it. Having been there I knew this from the start.

As I mentioned earlier, to not have the expectation that you’re going to make the cut is going to help you recover from it and focus on working harder next year.

Now that the talk was out of the way, we could start focusing on her training and nutrition.

Knowing full well when one is consistent with their training and keeping up fairly well with how they’re eating and hydrating, the next thing I wanted her to work on was visualization and mental preparedness.

I wanted her to write down on a poster board where she can see it every single day of when the tryout date was. Everyday she came in, I asked her when is try outs??

 

“August 14^th!!!”

 

We got into the routine of this every training day; making proper hydration and adequate nutrition a habit.

Once you do the little things and feel more confident about them, you’ll automatically start to feel more confident about your chances of achieving success.

 

                        “There are no secret for success, there are only patterns.”

 

I know for me when I prepare for competitions, I watch videos of other competitions and getting psyched up. I go to bed dreaming about what I’m going to do the morning of. I also accept that I may not win, but I will make damn sure I go down swinging.

The week of the girls tryouts came and I could tell on our last session she had it on her mind. Day came and she made the team. I couldn’t be a happier coach.

I don’t care what the circumstances were of her making the team, fact is she made it. That means everything that we have done over the summer was worth every second, every medicine ball slam, every goblet squat, and every sprint.

And guess what?? Even if she didn’t make the team…it’d still be worth it.

She’s never worked that hard before and never had so much confidence and learned how to be mentally prepared for things like this.

 

Closing Thoughts

You can be the most physically gifted individual known to man. At some point we all know someone who has had “the potential”, but potential is wasted when never realized.

We all are so physically capable of doing so much and could be so far along than we are now. Our worst enemies aren’t the people you’re going up against for the job position or the title. It is our mind.

Those who crap out and don’t come back are not quite ready yet, and never will unless they revisit what defeated them in the first place.

Embrace the reality of defeat for you will also find success if you chose to continue on. If you do, you’ll be better off. You’ll be stronger (mentally) as a result.